Fear

Found out that one of Bukowski’s greatest fears was not writing every day,

I am sure there are better things to be scared of,

A slow and agonizing death or perverted dentists,

But what a way to flirt with perfection!

Some wake up and dread their lives and turn a wrench or rotate a protractor with ease,

half awake at half effort hating every line on the clock but revered they are in their professions,

However, others wake up early to get to work early and swing a bat or strum a guitar,

With every ounce of sweat and pressure in them just to be mediocrities they are good at best,

Got thinking about the five or more times a day I tell myself I am not a writer;

don’t drink obsessively;  don’t suffer waiting for a check; haven’t even read most of the acclaimed poets,

I have never been hungry or waited long enough to be wanting enough or needing,

But fear; now fear is a powerful tactic against my own laziness,

Fear of never seeing Italy; dying alone; being stabbed; large fury spiders; getting all the way to the gate and not getting in,

These things scare me pretty good although I have read that people underachieve because they fear their own success,

Well now that’s just silly. 

Fear being so close to landing the role and missing the phone call,

Fear falling asleep at the piano and a thief stealing your lyrics,

Fear that if you do not write every day- then all of these brilliant conversations with yourself will have been a waste.

Matthew Vincent has been actively writing poetry and music for over ten years.  I have worked in the Information Technology and Imaging Industry for ten years and as a result have been blessed with the opportunity to travel all around the country.  This is his publication debut.